Cerebral Soup - The Archives
Confined Hysteria
Last Thursday night, around 11, as I was slaving over a hot computer, the Boy (in the music room playing Dragon Quest) casually says to me "Check out this spider."
I toddle over and peer through the adjoining door.
"Where?" I say in a rather droll tone. After all I'm an Aussie. I've seen spiders that would make the average Japanese person have nightmares for weeks.
"On the wardrobe door there".
I look over. On the door is the largest spider I have EVER seen in Japan. Including it's legs, it's an entire hand size (well MJ sized hand).
I scream out an expletitive or two and ask the Boy how he can calmly sit there so close (keep in mind this is the Boy who still won't go near a pair of sneakers I once stepped on a cockroach in).
Of course the first move is an obvious one. Grab the camera. I approach to get a decent shot when I surprise it and it scuttles onto the other wall. Actually "scuttles" is a misleading word. It flew! This thing could move at light speed.
Now the Boy has a breakdown and runs squealing into the bathroom, leaving me to defend myself.
Then he runs back in and throws a sock at it. Not sure what the goal was there - unless he reasoned he could smite it with his foot odour. The result was the spider transported itself to a place totally out of view.
I give him a look conveying "Smart thinking there Einstein" as we now have a bloody huge hidden spider in the apartment. I lock down the other rooms, arm myself with the bug spray and the floor wiper with the long pole. Usually I capture spiders and put them outside - but this bugger is too big and too fast. We have decided on an execution.
The Boy arms himself with a dust pan brush. He does not move closer than the next room. I'm not sure how much use he is going to be. I run out onto the balcony. I can see it hiding behind the curtains. I attempt to persuade it out in the open again. It runs the other way behind the stack of vinyl albums. Dammit.
I go back inside and try the bug spray approach to gas it out of it's lair. It takes a long time. Half an hour later it crawls up the wall (and I manage to get a photo).
Photo taken, I thrust the floor wiper towards it.
We still haven't found the body, just a couple of legs. And now we are struck with paranoia. We possibly have a really pissed off huge 6 legged spider hopping around the apartment now. Every stray hair that falls on my neck prompts a reaction.
Unable to bear any longer this life on the edge, tomorrow we do the body hunt. Wish us luck.
Posted by mjd-s on September 4, 2005 11:47 PM