Cerebral Soup - The Archives

Mother's Day

So much for my pledge to be together and strong today. I was going to ring my Nanna and my Stepmother and go over to JMum's for dinner but instead pretty much rolled into a ball and tried to escape from everything.

I thought about taking flowers down to the beach. But it seemed so far. The couch seemed the safest place to be. Escaping. In a book.

Yesterday I managed to look through the huge pile of photographs I brought back from Australia, and I made photo collages of both Mum and Dad in frames to hang in the living room. I thought that was a job well done - only took me 4 months and a few sessions of tears.

It amazes me how much my strength comes and goes. I guess I still bury a lot of the pain and it tends to come out at very odd times. Mother's Day is hard because even here in Japan it's just forced down your throat so much.

I cried when I came across this picture - yet smiled at the same time. It's funny how little kids don't understand that you close your mouth and pucker your lips to kiss. Even funnier that later on - just when you've learned to do that - you discover that in certain cases you need to open your mouth to do it again.

I'm 1 year and 7 months old in this picture. Being March in Queensland it's hot and once again I was running around naked. I have a brush in my hand - maybe I was trying to brush Mum's hair. She just looks so serene as this naked wild child (with brush) slobbers on her. This photo reminds me of how much I loved her and she me. It still hurts a lot to realize she is gone.

Posted by mjd-s on May 14, 2006 11:51 PM