You wash, I'll dry

The Boy did a load of washing when he got home from his part-time job this morning. The laundry is technically my duty, but he thought since it was such a nice day he'd have a go. Hasn't quite got the concept of hanging things out correctly yet, but brownie points for effort. If he doesn't mind wearing scrunched up boxers then it's cool with me.

Was chatting to one of my fellow bloggers last night who has also been married for a year to one of the locals about domestic duties assignments. He has become a bit disappointed that his girl has become more domestic since they have been together in Japan and has given up working. He mourned that his relationship has become stereotypical.

It is very common here for women to give up working when they get married and assume the role of shufu (housewife) - even now. I'm not criticizing this mind you - but I have a hard-time understanding it. What do you do with yourself all day if you don't work? Clean the house from top-to-bottom everyday? Japanese apartments aren't that big - a thorough cleaning of my place takes at the most an hour and a half (including cleaning out the fridge and relocating the new communities of varied life forms that have evolved in there). If you have kids then I can see where the time would go as I imagine they are a full-time job.

Maybe it's because I've been a workaholic independant person for too long. I am uncomfortable with the idea of being disconnected from the working sphere and of relying on someone else for my upkeep. I blame this on my fiercely independent feminist Mum (bless her), who brainwashed me into being this way.

Of course not all Japanese women put away their laptops and don an apron after marriage. I know several successful women who work just as hard as their husbands do (and interestingly enough often alongside their other halves). I'm also proof that you are not condemning yourself to a lifetime of housewifery by marrying a Japanese guy, although I have heard of that happening to a couple of western women here.

I can't imagine the Boy even being game enough to bring up the idea that I assume the role of domestic care-taker. Maybe we'll see if he ever beats me in a wrestling match (^^). Honestly though I don't force him to do his share using the threat of domestic violence - I work just as hard as he does and he likes to have a clean apartment and clean clothes too, so it's only fair that duties are split up roughly 50-50.

If you think that the Boy is hard done by then let me leave you with this example - one of my Japanese friend's husband not only helps out with the housework after working all day but treats her to a one hour massage almost every night. I've still gotta lot of work to do...